Picturesque, But God It's Cold…

Does a temperature of 57 degrees Fahrenheit disqualify a place from being a paradise?

That's never a question I thought I'd have to ponder until traveling to the Isle of Jersey to experience a racing card at Les Landes. Beautiful place. God awful weather. God awful weather in July. I guess the answer is you have to take the good with the bad.

After the drive from hell (more on the that later), I arrived just prior to the first race Friday at Les Landes and discovered that I was at perhaps the most unique racetrack in the world, one whose charm is in direct contrast with the down-on-their-luck horses that race there and weather right out of the South Pole.

The Isle of Jersey is part of the Channel Islands, a group of islands about 14 miles off the coast of France, but actually part of the U.K. Jersey is the biggest island of the group and on the northwest tip of the island sits a racetrack. It is so close to the sea, that if a horse bolted over the outside rail coming out of the clubhouse turn it'd better be a good swimmer. It challenges any racetrack in the world when it comes to the most picturesque setting.

“This is the most picturesque race course in the British Isles,” said track president Tony Taylor said.

He's not wrong. To have a racetrack on a cliff overlooking the ocean with cows grazing in the infield makes for a scene you can't find anywhere else. Sorry, Del Mar.

If only the sun would come out. It was 57 degrees and raining in the morning. The weather got a bit better during the day, but it was unbearably cold and windy by the time of the first race. The locals kept telling me that I picked the worst day weather-wise to come to the races, and that on a good day it can get up to 63 or 64 degrees and the wind won't blow over small children. Gee, whiz.

There are nine race meetings on Jersey and one more on Guernsey, another one of the Channel Islands. The purses stink. With so few meetings, the horses can only run a handful of times and the total handle on the card was probably in the neighborhood of $7.82.

It makes no sense to have a racetrack here. Yet, that's the beauty of Les Landes. Nobody runs here to get rich or famous and the track operators aren't looking to make any money. They've been racing here since 1961 because they love horse racing.

Alyson Malzard is the top trainer. She is so good that it's quite possible she could become a successful trainer in the U.K. or France. It's not something she wants to do.

“I train racehorses and love it,” she said. “I live right next door to the race course. I have taken horses to France and have had winners in France. I travel a bit, but I am a Jersey trainer.”

With so few races available on the island, the money Malzard makes from purses is minimal. She says she must survive on her day rate, mainly from local owners, who, like her, get a thrill from winning races in their own backyard. She charges £37 a day.

“I make my living training horses whether they win or not,” Malzard said. “The yard gets 10% when we win, but the main thing is that winning keeps the owners happy. The prize money doesn't affect me in any way.”

These horses will never win a Group 1 in England or France and may not be able to win at the lowest level at the lowest tracks in the U.K. Still, they can become Jersey legends. The fourth race on the card was won by Grey Panel (Largesse), who scored his 12th win on the island. The purse was £1,780 pounds. Bred by Emma and John Berry, Grey Panel is out of Minnie's Mystery (Fr) (Highest Honor {Fr}), who won 11 races on the Isle of Jersey and is a Jersey champion. She currently resides at Haras de la Cauviniere.

“Racing is a disease,” said his trainer Tony Le Brocq. “We do it because we love it.”

The third race, the £2,380 Smith and Williamson Champion Hurdle was won in a driving finish by Rosetti (GB) (Dansili) (GB), for his second straight win in the biggest jumping race held in the Channel Islands. He's won numerous times in the U.K., including his last start at Stratford, which makes him a local hero.

As for the jockeys and trainers, they have all sorts of back stories. Leading rider Mattie Batchelor admits that he's fallen out of favor in the U.K.

“I'm getting old, I'm 40,” he said. “It's like football. It's a young man's sport and times changes and there's a changing of the guard. I've been coming over to Jersey now for nearly eight years. It's good to build up a rapport with the trainers and I've been lucky to always have some winners every year.”

Trainer Karl Kukk galloped horses for Godolphin and wanted to try his hand as a trainer. He fell in love with Jersey and settled here. Jockey Freddie Tett wants to remain an amateur in France, but rides here professionally to pick up a few extra dollars. It probably doesn't hurt that he was allowed to ride at 154 pounds aboard Dalmo (GB) (Dalakhnai {Ire}) in the third race.

“I'd rather be a big fish in small pond than a small fish in a big pond,” he said.

Yet, the real feat in Jersey is not winning races or avoiding frostbite, but navigating these roads. If you ever come here do not, do not, do not, do not rent a car. Mine looks like it has been part of a demolition derby and, as I write this, it is sitting abandoned on the side of the road somewhere near Les Landes. The roads are so narrow that you have two choices: either collide with the on-coming car in the right lane or get so far over to the left that you will inevitably hit something. Having already cracked up the panel on the door of the left side of the car, I managed to put another dent on the left side front fender.

It doesn't help that there are no signs, no GPS, roads about four feet wide and maps that look like they were drawn by third graders. Trying to find Les Landes, I got too close to something or other on the side of the road and blew out both left side tires. Two flat tires in a strange country with no idea who to turn to, I'm in big trouble. It just so happens that there was a man standing by the side of the road feeding horses and he happened to be the starter at Les Landes. He gave me a ride to the track. His name is David Evans and I would like to nominate him for sainthood.

As far as my car, it has two flat tires, dents all over the place and is somewhere I couldn't begin to describe. Good luck, Avis.

Off to visit some new islands tomorrow. Won't be renting a car.